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Unfaithful / Monday, October 31, 2011 @ 1:54 AM
Just to be clear, I was never unfaithful. It's just that I don't want to be a murderer.
I really have no idea why he said such things to me. And then again, I'd be a liar if I would not tell you that one of my jokes seems to have insulted him. It was just so sad knowing how a happy friendship can end up with one wishing the other dead. Am I this bad? Or am I just so damn insensitive? I don't know.
Just to be clear, I was never unfaithful. It's just that I don't want to be a murderer.
Jast last 2 nights ago somebody said something like this to me. I mean this,
You make me want to kill myself.
I really have no idea why he said such things to me. And then again, I'd be a liar if I would not tell you that one of my jokes seems to have insulted him. It was just so sad knowing how a happy friendship can end up with one wishing the other dead. Am I this bad? Or am I just so damn insensitive? I don't know.
He never cared, or so I thought. He never showed me he was affected. He never told me he was hurt. Why now? I kept on asking why but he never answered me straight. He keeps on throwing my question and starts to talk about random things like I never asked him such things. Is it still my fault? My opinions always mattered to him. He always asked me on what I think about something and then he reacts. Why are my opinions so highly-rated? Why? Whatever I am saying in this blog seems to be contradicting my thoughts on the other one.
And here's how everything ended. A bitter ending, that's something I'm quite sure of.
Him : Alam mo ba na you make me want to kill myself? Ge. Ingat.Me : Then go ahead. Ewan ko sa'yo. Bahala ka.Him : Thanks. Thanks talaga.Me : Walang anman if that's what you want.
I shouldn't have said those things. I mean, I was angry and I swore to forget him but out of a sudden I feel like I miss him. I dunno. I am really not sure about anything in my life anymore. I just remember how he used to sing for me and how funny he looked in TinyChat. In two days time I forgot him but watching some video made me remember everything as if it happened yesterday. Damn. Damn him to hell. I don't know if whatever he said was real. I mean, he always told me stuff, and I used to believe them. But now? I wonder what makes me doubt. But one thing's for sure, I was hurt. The hell I am.
Am I really bad? Making somebody wish they were dead? Am I really a murderer?
Oh and by the way, to avoid further issues, he's just my closest friend. Oh wait. I mean he USED to be. Nothing more, nothing less.
