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Him / Tuesday, November 8, 2011 @ 6:34 AM
Him, siya, the one I am trying to forget and I almost succeeded but then here he comes.
Him, siya, the one I am trying to forget and I almost succeeded but then here he comes.
Somebody texted me a while ago. I was an unknown number so I asked who it was. He said he was "Someone I do not want to hear from." At first I didn't actually know it was him. The next message confirmed it. I know how he types, I just know. But then I dunno why, I pretended I never knew. I kept on asking. I want him to reveal himself. I want him to tell me that it's him. But I eventually gave up. I was curious. In the second message he sent me, he asked me if he could ask me something.
Temptation killed me. With the question he fired at me, I was shocked. "What did I do wrong?", he asked. I don't know what to answer, he did nothing wrong. I am always wrong. I stepped down, I stopped pretending and answered "Nothing." It feels awkward and I feel so broken. All this time I was here cursing him to death. Blaming him for everything. But he was concern. He wanted whatever we are losing back. It just hurts me too much. It was not him who tried to let go of our promise, it was me. I was so fuckin' selfish.
He wanted to start-over, he said. I dunno. It's not that I trust him. I do, but less. But I do no trust myself. I may be too selfish and insensitive at times and things might be over before we even realized it, completely.
I just don't know how to react. I don't know what to feel anymore.
