Hi. You've stopped at this year's up to date shiets of my life. For the dipwads, navigate with the arrow near the title above.
Chocolates and sweetness can make me smile and my idiocies help me escape boredom. Hell-come to Anne's euphoria. This blog is full of random posts, weirdness and insanity if you ask me.
There are people defying gravity.
nakakastress kasama ‘tong mga ‘to. / disiplina / friendship / Forgive / Awkward / Walang'ya / Oh good old times / I am going to fail my quiz in Math tomorrow / Ayaw ko na / I secretly love /
October 2011 November 2011 January 2012 May 2012 June 2012 August 2012
Unfaithful / Monday, October 31, 2011 @ 1:54 AM
Just to be clear, I was never unfaithful. It's just that I don't want to be a murderer.
I really have no idea why he said such things to me. And then again, I'd be a liar if I would not tell you that one of my jokes seems to have insulted him. It was just so sad knowing how a happy friendship can end up with one wishing the other dead. Am I this bad? Or am I just so damn insensitive? I don't know.
Just to be clear, I was never unfaithful. It's just that I don't want to be a murderer.
Jast last 2 nights ago somebody said something like this to me. I mean this,
You make me want to kill myself.
I really have no idea why he said such things to me. And then again, I'd be a liar if I would not tell you that one of my jokes seems to have insulted him. It was just so sad knowing how a happy friendship can end up with one wishing the other dead. Am I this bad? Or am I just so damn insensitive? I don't know.
He never cared, or so I thought. He never showed me he was affected. He never told me he was hurt. Why now? I kept on asking why but he never answered me straight. He keeps on throwing my question and starts to talk about random things like I never asked him such things. Is it still my fault? My opinions always mattered to him. He always asked me on what I think about something and then he reacts. Why are my opinions so highly-rated? Why? Whatever I am saying in this blog seems to be contradicting my thoughts on the other one.
And here's how everything ended. A bitter ending, that's something I'm quite sure of.
Him : Alam mo ba na you make me want to kill myself? Ge. Ingat.Me : Then go ahead. Ewan ko sa'yo. Bahala ka.Him : Thanks. Thanks talaga.Me : Walang anman if that's what you want.
I shouldn't have said those things. I mean, I was angry and I swore to forget him but out of a sudden I feel like I miss him. I dunno. I am really not sure about anything in my life anymore. I just remember how he used to sing for me and how funny he looked in TinyChat. In two days time I forgot him but watching some video made me remember everything as if it happened yesterday. Damn. Damn him to hell. I don't know if whatever he said was real. I mean, he always told me stuff, and I used to believe them. But now? I wonder what makes me doubt. But one thing's for sure, I was hurt. The hell I am.
Am I really bad? Making somebody wish they were dead? Am I really a murderer?
Oh and by the way, to avoid further issues, he's just my closest friend. Oh wait. I mean he USED to be. Nothing more, nothing less.
Bookathon / Sunday, October 30, 2011 @ 3:08 AM
Another weird word I made up for my title. D:
Another weird word I made up for my title. D:
I've been reading books for the past 3 days and because of this I discovered a new talent, sleeping while reading. I know, I know. It is virtually impossible but myself being a genius, nah. Lawlkidds. I was just too engrossed with whatever I am reading that gave me the feeling that I was asleep or so. But I do not suggest that people who dislike headaches try that 'cause you'll experience one afterwards. So here are the books which I wasted my precious time reading:
- The Throne of Fire by Rick Riordan
- The Island by Heather Graham
- Deception Point by Dan Brown
- ABNKKBSNPLAko?! by Bob Ong
- MacArthur by Bob Ong
- Mga Kaibigan ni Mama Susan by Bob Ong
- Nancy Drew : Password to Larkspur Lane by Carolene Keene
I strongly recommend this books. These have good story flow and are just simply amazing. (Some of these books gave me the creeps.) I can't wait to buy a new book! And some vinyl to cover them as well. Some are getting a little bit dusty because my shelf isn't covered and they can't fit inside my cabinet. Oh well. I need money for this plan and money is something I do not have at the moment. I'll just save up a month's worth of allowance. Geez. No eating. As if I can do that. Hahaha!
Sick / Monday, October 24, 2011 @ 3:32 AM
An hour before I leave the house and I just feel sick. I want to vomit whatever I ate and my vision's getting blurry. I just don't know what is happening to me anymore. This is going to be my last post for I won't be online for the next two days. Way to go field trip. I just don't feel good. My parents wasted money. I should have cashed it out, it's better that way. I get to buy cool stuff with that~ Guu. Please, I hope that I will feel better soon. I want to enjoy this because this is going to be my last field trip for my DLA times. ♥ I am sure going to miss school.
An hour before I leave the house and I just feel sick. I want to vomit whatever I ate and my vision's getting blurry. I just don't know what is happening to me anymore. This is going to be my last post for I won't be online for the next two days. Way to go field trip. I just don't feel good. My parents wasted money. I should have cashed it out, it's better that way. I get to buy cool stuff with that~ Guu. Please, I hope that I will feel better soon. I want to enjoy this because this is going to be my last field trip for my DLA times. ♥ I am sure going to miss school.
Wait. I jumped from one topic to another, right?
Fieldtrip / Sunday, October 23, 2011 @ 7:00 PM
I don't know why, but I think I am supposed to be excited for this trip. I mean most of my classmates and other batch mates are really excited, guu~ Anyway, I think this trip is gonna be fun, somehow. We're going to Vigan! Yes baby, and we're out for 3 days! Way to spend vacation after 1 week of stress from periodical exams. ♥
I don't know why, but I think I am supposed to be excited for this trip. I mean most of my classmates and other batch mates are really excited, guu~ Anyway, I think this trip is gonna be fun, somehow. We're going to Vigan! Yes baby, and we're out for 3 days! Way to spend vacation after 1 week of stress from periodical exams. ♥
I haven't packed my things yet. Oh wait, I have. But I don't think I can consider it as packing. I just grabbed a few stuff and threw them inside my bag. Lol. Mommy's usually the one doing the packing of stuff whenever we go out for a trip. I never learned how to put all my things and having them fit into a small bag. I miss my Mom, not only for the packing, but she just called a while ago~ Wee. Lol. I don't know what to bring and how to bring them. Right now I have to bags with my stuff inside, one big body bag where my clothes are and one small backpack for my other stuff. I almost forgot to my towel inside, idiotic. Hahaha! I feel like my bag has gotten so big with all my things inside it. I mean it doesn't look good. Argh. I don't want to bring big backpacks because I can't carry my small one. What should I do? I don't like bringing lots of bags because I might forget one, I'm doomed. :( asdfghjkl; And I just remembered, I haven't placed my food yet. My snacks, though it's just mostly Mogu Mogu. Where the hell should I place it?! The buttons of my bag are popping of it's place, twice when I tried to carry my bag. OH MY GOSH. /throat After blogging I have to fix my bag again, or maybe I should look for another one. :(
I never thought this trip would be so problematic. XD
Frustrations / @ 8:27 AM
I dunno what's wrong with me right now. I started blurting out senseless stuff to random people. Okay, 'twas not random but I guess to someone who doesn't really care, or too busy to care.
I dunno what's wrong with me right now. I started blurting out senseless stuff to random people. Okay, 'twas not random but I guess to someone who doesn't really care, or too busy to care.
I am infuriated by the fact that I am supposed to have a camera today (technically mine for 3-4 damn days) but then for some unknown reasons the person who's supposed to bring it here, didn't. I feel sick. I just don't wanna see that person's face ever again, damn him to hell. Not having a camera is really frustrating and irritating.
That's not the only reason for the BV aura surrounding me right now. I mean that's not the very reason. I keep on remembering things that I should not, things that I tried my hardest to forget. I sound like some desperate girl, but I think I am not. I just can't accept the fact that I promised myself not to fall hard because I know this stuff's coming but then I just can't seem to control myself. He's being an idiot all the time and I have to look after him. The worst is he knows about what I feel but then not a word came from him, not a single word. This feels harder than rejections. He just doesn't give a damn about what other people feel.
Usually when this kind of thing comes, there'll be people to comfort me and since I haven't mentioned this to anyone, I'll be suffering alone for a while. Well I want to, but I can't seem to find someone to trust. No, I have a lot of people to trust, but I am afraid of what's next, how will they react? Will they get mad? or what. Actually, those people whom I used to share this kind of stuff is very far now. I feel alienated. People around me are so judgmental, I won't exclude myself though, and it just feel awkward. Ugh. I never though liking someone is this frustrating.
Random / @ 7:16 AM
I made another blog for some selfish and random reasons.
I made another blog for some selfish and random reasons.
--
This blog:
- I decided that I should be open to everyone, that I shan't keep things to myself for it will just cause me another mischief in the near future.
- I decided to let people see whatever is bothering me, I can't rely on him anymore for he will no longer be part of my life.
- I decided to share my thought because I think they are of value, somehow.
- I decided to shut of the dark and boring stuff and let a new one rise, though it can be gloomy at times, still be an inspiration.
- I decided that unlike the other blogs I had which only selected people can see, I can share and publish this in public.
And I just did bullet-posting. Hooray for me! I just missed blogging here, I was too preoccupied in posting stuff in Tumblr. I was afraid that he'd see my blog again. I regretted throwing the blog that sis named for me because of him. I regretted doing lots of things because of him and now I just want to get him out of my system for I know that he can never be mine. I really am random at times. I want to share my thoughts to other people, but I don't know who. I use to share this thoughts to him. FML. I'd find some one to talk to, eventually.
